15/11/12 The Call that Changed Everything

Assalamualaikum & hello readers~!

I was so looking forward to get a beauty sleep that night (14^th November). So, after checking my social networks for the last time, I toss out my laptop and pull my covers over me. It was around 1am, I think. I forgot everything, and I close my eyes. But then came this loud knock on the door and mum was calling. I thought, I just close my eyes and ignore, because I was freaking sleepy. I thought it was morning and I want to sleep more. In the end, I couldn’t take it, I just answer the door.

With my eyes half open, I peered through my own eyes and look at my mum. She said, my cousin called my dad, my auntie is now is at the hospital. I was what? I ignore the other details and just went for my bath and grab everything I could bring. Clothes, my trusty eyeliners, chargers and such. I went downstairs and waited for my parents with my brother, I ask him, he said it was my Aunty Sinar. I go like “Aunty Sinar? Seriously?” as far as I know, she’s so much better then my other auntie, Nyanya. It was the shocked of my life. And it was 3 in the morning of 15^th November. I was scared if I really will lose my auntie.

Upon arriving in Teluk Panglima Garang, Selangor, we meet the other family members and talk about Aunty Sinar. She had only small percent of living but we still pray for the best. Waiting at the hospital for hours and hours and hours it made my head really dizzy. And it was the start of my three weeks of flu and one week of fever. To tell the truth the whole five days of staying in Teluk was a hell for me, because I was exhausted and wondered if only I could be admitted into the hospital for my fever =.=

Waiting long hours for the second time of the ward to be open for public, me, my parents, my brother and my cousin received the news that our Aunty Sinar had passed away from my other cousin. The blood from the brain come down through the nose and the tube at the nose was filled with blood. As the nurse was opening the tube to change and all, my aunt went. There was no tears came out from me, because I cried earlier in the car, I put on a serious face and walk confidently. Inside my heart was crush because of some incidents happened between us and I didn’t had the time to say thank you to her for everything that she done to me. 

There was a lot of people came to the hospital and people around in the ward watch us carefully. I tried to look at their eyes wondered what they were thinking. Later that evening, my dad completed the procedure of a dead person certs and all. And I thought I would have died too, cause we waited for the van jenazah for hours, just imagine we waited for it from the day is still evening until it pasts Maghrib. :(

Aunty Sinar was laid to rest the next day after Friday prayers, in Teluk near her parents’s grave. It was stupid to bury her after Friday prayers because in sha Allah she will receive more goodness if she’s buried before Friday prayers. We did the 4 days tahlil every night after that night. Some how to me, the foods for the kenduri was stupid and there’s no consideration to the elders. Beside there are many elders then the person of my age. Thus, the are some things that they couldn’t it eat. Pity them.

As this my blog, I gotta say some things here. The things that I remembered was the ayam masak merah. Oh my God, it was stupid, stupid! The chicken was not cook properly. I was freaking piss off. I can’t help in the cooking, but then again i’m not a good cook, so I can’t say much. Then again, they are so much better cook then me, why in the hell happened that. And some things they like to tell some problems are about someone else problem not themselves. There was many things that made me piss off, then again who am I to say. Hence, I took all the bad things as a fault that I shouldn’t be repeating it. 

I didn’t manage to visit her grave yet. In sha Allah in the new future I will. I’m not with Aunty Sinar every day of every year. Unlike my cousins. Thus, I didn’t have much memory with her unlike my cousins. But she’s a thoughtful person though. I just can’t get out of my mind that she asked me to go and visit my cousins at AEON Bukit Tinggi after having lunch during our brief visit back in Teluk. It was weird how she almost like forced us to go. Me, my brother and my mum. So we did went there. I took a picture with her, and it was the last. It was also the first and the last I drove her somewhere. 

On the same day, my cat, Baby Owen died too. He had a spine problem that at first he was about to recover then it came again. In the mist of 3 in the morning, we went to my auntie’s house in Sitiawan to ..... our cats for the days we were in Teluk, Belang and Baby Owen. That afternoon, he died my uncle helped to bury him. I cried again when we get the news. We received the news days after Aunty Sinar died. It seems they went to the other side together, good to feel that they may be together and not alone. 

In April of this year, two of my aunties from Teluk, Nyanya and Aunty Sinar came to my house but I was in Perlis. My mum said there was a time that Aunty Sinar took Baby Owen and just sat with him outside of the house. She sings to him and talks to him. It seems like they knew they will be going together. Nevertheless, that is just what I like to think. What really happened we never know.

arwah Aunty Sinar and me

Al-Fatihah. Hajah Shamsinar binti Jamaludin & Baby Owen. May You Rest In Peace.

Bubye~!